‘dans ma mémoire;

Have I (not) chosen death?

To walk down the road alone

while playing catch with my last breath.

To see me suffer in pain

as blood pours down

I will stand tall to the last drain.

Frames of the past with glimpse of hope.

In your eyes I saw your last wish;

“For me to fall and be caught by your rope.”

To wonder about “What if?”

I walk my last walk,

with my eyes closed I have a last sniff.

Heart pounding faster,

losing my breath,

as deafening as it sounds;

“To slaughter my soul in one piece”

I ask…

for…Me

Pastor.

By the rush of this disaster.

https://jojoalwaealy.com/writers-history/

16 thoughts on “‘dans ma mémoire;

  1. Lia says:

    Whoa… would love to know what is going on in this poem, dear Jojo, sounds like a spiritual enemy? Imagining of a suicide? But maybe I’ve interpreted wrongly. Lots of adrenaline feeling in here…
    Hugs, hope all is well. 🙏💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jojo alwaealy says:

      This is a little bit of both. This was a feeling I had when I was 14 years old, a little scream for help to someone bigger than me, because i was on the edge of really doing it. Until I realized there was Noone to help me but myself. (nights of not sleeping, being bullied and shit like that) it was a heavy period back than for me😅 this just the tip of the iceberg🙈🙈😅😅 but no problems atm. Life is good and going well for me, so no need to worry!!! Thanks for asking ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Lia says:

        Oh my goodness… wow. Jojo, you’re amazing. I think a lot of us maybe have this feeling around age 14. I know I did, well a tiny bit later but yeah. We are growing into adults, a lot is expected, but we are still children, and the world can be very harsh then, especially at school. Your poem is such a great reminder, and a big help through this perspective (now that I can put worry aside in your case). You are one awesome human being to share this way and I appreciate it so much. I agree… in the end, in my worst times (even now), I had/have to get through it by myself, or with help from god, universal wisdom accessed at the spiritual/soul level, whatever one wants to call it. I am trying to teach the kids this but it’s a true challenge to “teach” spiritual access. It’s something one has to show more than tell I guess. Much love and gratitude, to you, Jojo. You’re a great friend to the blog world. 💛💛💛🙏🙏🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      2. jojo alwaealy says:

        Hihihih, don’t know what I can say about this, Lia ❤️ Thank you so much for understanding it, understanding my work and especially that you get it. That you have Brenda through the same thing. (Like many have). You know me, I want to write from experience, I want to show people my true feelings that I have and had. I want People to relate to my work, to feel my emotions and all. And you always do that, or at least try to do!

        One thing is for sure, these day to teach kids what we have been taught is really hard thanks to all the Social media and access to internet. People want more and more in a place that gives us Just enough to survive and enjoy life!

        Thank you for all your kindness, generosity and support, Lia ❤️❤️ you have been Always helpful and around 🤗❤️ and for that I’m thankful and grateful 🤗❤️🤭😘 faire la bise 😘

        Liked by 1 person

  2. cheriewhite says:

    Such a powerful poem, Jojo. I remember feeling the same way once upon a time. You see? I was horribly bullied through middle school and high school- for six long years. It got so bad that I attempted suicide when I was 14 and almost didn’t make it. Today, I’m so grateful that my life was spared and I have a wonderful family and a group of friends who love me for me. I also use what I endured back then to help people who are bullied today and I enjoy what I do. Thank you for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jojo alwaealy says:

      Hi cherie, thank you so much for opening up to me and telling me this story of yours. I’m especially glad everything turned out well for you, that’s amazing yo hear. I hope you will never lose hope!! I bet you are an amazing person and someone who’s allot fun to talk to. Please, keep on doing what you can so to leave the world a better place for the future generations. But mostly, do it with a smile 😊🤗

      Thank you for reading my work and appreciating it! It means a lot to me 😊🥰 take care of yourself and see you around in the blogging world☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. silent poetry says:

    Aww wow jojo this is very deep. I feel your pain as I have been there too ☹️. What you express through your words is pure and amazing. Really raw material here. Love it ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Shooting Nebula says:

    “I will stand tall to the last drain.”
    That’s a warrior. ⚔
    I don’t know what exactly to write, but it is stupendously mind-blowing. The color of your emotions painted through your word is (♡´▽`♡)

    Do not look at me, I wasn’t stalking. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jojo alwaealy says:

      That’s a huge compliment that I can not respond with a “Thank you” because you have taken that away from me😭❤️ I’m glad you see the collors throughout my work. 🤗🤭

      You can Always stalk me and be my stalker 😏😏🤫🤫

      Liked by 1 person

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